Last weekend the Knights of Malta were welcolmed home to Saint John’s Seminary for their annual dinner. In the course of the dinner they heard many inspirational talks in support of their care for the sick, the marginalized and the teaching of the Church. Sister Constance Veit, communications director for the Little Sisters of the Poor in the United States gave a very moving talk, as did Laurie Cochran, a deeply spiritual malade from our most recent pilgrimage to Lourdes. I am grateful to Laurie (pictured here as she was introduced by Damien Devasto) for her permission to reprint her talk here, a presentation which deeply move all who were present for this wonderful evening!
The Waters of Lourdes
All of you familiar with Lourdes know that water is the fundamental element.
- Our Lady instructed Bernadette to dig in the dirt and a spring of clear, healing water sprang forth.
- This spring feeds the many taps where anyone can walk up and fill containers with the sacred, sweet water.
- The hypnotic Rivière Gave flows swiftly through the center of Lourdes.
- Malades and their loved ones are immersed in the icy baths fed by the sacred spring hoping they will be among the chosen few and the water will feel warm.
- Water is key in religious celebrations and blessings repeated many times a day in Lourdes.
- “Drink water, drink water” we are cautioned as we are at a high altitude in the Pyrenees and can easily become dehydrated. The ultra-organized, attentive Knights and Associates lug case after case of bottled water.
- And then there is the water that flowed from my eyes - a flood that opened on the second day and streamed for a week.
The Order of Malta had done a superb job of preparing us for a powerful experience and taught us that Lourdes miracles come in all forms. Of course I had my fairy-tale visions of what this would be for me: tremendous peace would waft through me followed by ineffable joy.
Clearly I was not prepared for what Our Lady had planned for me and I felt even worse that I couldn’t offer heartfelt smiles to acknowledge all the love that was showered on me.
I was full of gratitude for the experience and yet I could not stop crying.
An ache that I had kept buried deep inside me for nearly five years since I was diagnosed with primary liver cancer refused to stay buried any longer. For the first time I squarely faced the very real possibility that my time on earth could be drawing to a close. If I didn’t hit bottom, I was close to it.
I was at sea in the place of water.
I didn’t fight it. I knew the tears were cleansing and that the torment would eventually lead me to the “peace that passes all understanding.” I knew that reaching that place of peace meant finally reaching total surrender to the will of God (which I had learned through years of study is not the same as giving up.)
“Did I eventually reach that place of total surrender and joy?”
Not yet. And I may never reach it. Most people don’t according to theologian/philosopher, Richard Rohr.
But in the months since May, I learned:
- That Mary is always with me
- That the mystery of Lourdes continues to unfold for each of us pilgrims as we cross the rough seas, lakes, rivers and puddles of our own journeys.
- We cannot rush the journey that God has planned for each of us. We must accept it with quiet patience (Patient Trust in the prayer of Teillard de Chardin) and gratitude, knowing deep in our hearts that we are not alone.
Craig and Nancy Gibson chose as the theme of this year’s pilgrimage, Our Mother Mary, Full of Grace.
May each of us share the blessings of knowing:
- Our own unique miracles of Lourdes continue to unfold within each of us at their intended pace.
- And even if we are numbed or soggy, of knowing our Beloved Mother Mary, Full of Grace, walks beside us.
